Telling is not selling.
If telling was enough, everyone would be skinny with fat bank accounts. We all know the many reasons we should be in a healthy shape. We all know we are supposed to save money. But here we are.
And humans in general don’t like to be told what to do. Even if we like something, being told to do it will lessen our enjoyment of it. That’s how messed up we can be.
So to avoid that psychological reactance, we use a script to take people deeper into their feelings than they have likely been about a subject. I’ve used this many different times with many different subjects besides real estate and am amazed at the realization a lot of people come across.
This script is from the book, Instant Influence by Michael Pantalon. You might think the is overpromising, but it’s not. I highly recommend you pick it up if you want to dive deeper into the process and mechanics.
Instant Influence is based on motivational interviewing, which goes back to at least 1991, and is used on the hardest of cases to help people find their own motivation. Here’s a TEDx talk where he goes over it how it’s used and who it’s used with; often drug abuse.
This script is about positive possibilities, pattern interruption and lastly, choice. Don’t mess with this script. Don’t change it. Just say it the way it is.
- Why might you ______?
- On a scale of 1-10? How ready are you to ________?
- Why didn’t you pick a lower number?
- Imagine ______ has happened. What would the positive outcomes be?
- Why are those outcomes important to you? (You might want to repeat this up to 5 times to get past surfaces stuff.)
- What are the next steps, if any?
Telling is not selling. Questions lead the conversation and that is what this all about; finding their motivation and taking yourself out of it. Remember this, if you have to push someone towards the starting line, you’ll be dragging them past the finish line. This helps you figure out their motivation and ramp it up if it exists.
Let’s break it down.
Question one is about positive possibilities. Since we are just using this with regular real estate clients, it’s easy to keep it positive but occasionally you could have some push back where they go negative about why they can’t do something. Remind them to think it positive terms. I call this the Mighty Script because agents were constantly forgetting to say “might” in the first question.
Saying, “Why would/should/could you…” are so much different in the emotional response. They can come with judgment or shame. Might is a very open, ethereal word. It’s perfect which is why it works.
Some questions might be, “Why might you:
- buy in the next 6 months.
- start investing in real estate
- downsize or upsize your home
Question two is to get them to “plant a flag” in their beliefs. You might be surprised to hear that the number isn’t that important. Selecting a number causes them to go deeper into their mind and feelings. They went from possibilities to reality a bit in these two questions. The next question is powerful and will sink this in deeper.
Question three is a “pattern interrupt.” Whether you are a salesperson or a drug counselor, some people will be wary of the questions you’ve been asking. Remember, no one likes to be sold but everyone likes to buy. No one is expecting you to question why they didn’t pick a lower number. Most people want to say, “How do I get you to a 10!” Then it becomes about you, not them. Ignore that impulse and stick to the script.
The other aspect of this is that they are now diving deeper into their mind. They have to defend their number. You will be shocked by how often they raise the number.
The average person doesn’t self-assess well. We often do things because of what we just think everyone is doing so we might as well. One of the keys to the Mighty Script is helping them discover those true internal motivators. If they access those, they will be off like a rocket.
Question four is a fun one. Once again, don’t deviate from the script. When I script to practice with agents, they want to slightly change these words. These fuzzy words are important.
You want them to find a picture of the amazing, positive things that will be happening for them. This is where sometimes you need to interject while being careful not to lead them anywhere. They sometimes want to say what they think you want to hear. Those aren’t real responses.
You can prompt them with things like, “What about your commute?” or “What about your dogs?”
Let them go down this road a bit while taking mental notes of these things for the next question.
Question five may take a little more deft handling.
Some people are talkers and will tell you the what and the why at the same time. Regardless, you need to ask them again, “Why are those things important you to you?”
For the quieter people who don’t open up as easily, you will need to likely ask “why” up to five times.
What I have found over and over is that when you really hit on that why their whole body changes. Their shoulders drop or you can just tell a tension dropped. It’s quite amazing. Also a little secret, the why is almost always family.
Question six is the hardest question for agents to remember probably because it is counter-intuitive and goes against the typical training. This question is the step that gives them the power and permission to do what they want.
Most agents want to jump in and say, “Here’s what you need to do! I’ve got all of the answers!!!!” That just kicks in the psychological reactance again.
Do you want the client that you are begging to buy a house or do you want a client begging you to help them buy a house? After this script, you will know whether, or at least how much time and effort, you want to spend on them.
Lastly, I’ll leave you with this. I was working with a 20+ year sales agent in another field. He just loved this script. Told me why it was fantastic and how much sense it made. Then we role-played it and, even with it written on a whiteboard behind me, he tried to “get me to a 10!” and tell me the next steps.
You have to practice this script over and over to make it natural and keep those fuzzy words that work in it.
Exercise: Write this script five times (don’t type it as it doesn’t set in our memory as well and handwriting.) Practice it on a new person once a day for 15 days.
