Words matter. They matter to some people more than others which is its own issue but they do matter, so watch how you use it.
Impact of Words
When I was 14 there was a girl I liked. I had a crush on her. It was a Summer thing and we were hanging out one night and we were both trying to find a way to tell each other how we felt. One of us had the idea to play hangman to figure out this 5-letter word we both were scared to say.
So I quickly realize “crush” wasn’t her word and was a little dismayed. Then it became clear her word was “thing.” Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’m 14, I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship and that is what “a thing” meant to me. I just had a crush.
That slight word change made all of the difference to me at that point but we were really saying the same thing and it ruined my chance for a summer romance.
This is going to happen with your clients. Telling them something isn’t a big deal (because you’re familiar with the situation) isn’t always going to resonate. Getting them off the word “lose” is important because as you learned earlier, losses look larger in our minds wins.
Avoid using words with a lot of flex in them like soon, in a while, a lot, a little, not much, etc. I’ve watched agents have some difficult conversations and lose clients because those words didn’t have the same meaning to both parties.
Communication is the number one reason that people say they left their agent. Words matter so use them wisely.
How words change how we think
What is your favorite song? How long did that take you? Most times when I test this it takes 5-20 seconds. You have the entire library of songs to pull from for that decision. What’s your favorite Christmas song? That usually takes people 1-5 seconds. Why do you care about this?
If you are in a networking group, they will often ask, who is your perfect or targeted client? “Whoever is breathing,” is basically what most agents say. I’ve had several agents have success with changing it up and being specific. “I’m looking to work with relocating retired couples.” The mind can zero in better for that search. You can change it up to keep it interesting.
Avoid a huge mistake when asking for referrals
The common question agents ask people is, “Do you know anyone that is looking to buy or sell real estate?” Most people don’t like silence and like to have the answer. The easiest answer is no. That’s the danger of closed-ended questions.
Instead ask, “Who do you know that is looking to buy or sell real estate?” The who turns on the brain search differently. They start looking through a mental list.
Miscellaneous
I know an agent that listed his listing as a “bulldozer” special. No fluff there, just real talk. So many agents try to hide the flaws of their listings. In my area they had to get specific with categories because agents would list townhomes as a residential category. Somehow they thought we might show up and say, “Oh my goodness, I was wrong. I should buy a townhouse instead of a single-family home!” That doesn’t happen.
I am the one that likes to make sure everyone knows what they are getting into and all of the pitfalls but I’ve had to back that off a bit. I realized I was putting ideas into their head that they didn’t really need. One time I needed to borrow someone’s car for a family emergency two and a half hours away. He said yes and to make him feel better I told him I had never been in an accident. That makes complete sense to proclaim my good driving record. He almost changed his mind because I put that idea of an accident in his head. I thought I was getting ahead of a question in his mind but I’m the one that put it there.
If you tell me you are easy to work with I will generally want to run.
Chris Voss says when someone starts talking about “fair” he expects what comes next might be nefarious.
Lastly, actions speak louder than words. People won’t remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel.
Exercise: Audit some of your communications with clients and how you deliver news. See if anything would be improved by making some changes.
Do the work, get the results.
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